No relationship is perfect. Every relationship takes work each and every day. You are constantly learning something new about each other. There will be times when you may not see eye to eye and there will be times when you may not agree. I am currently in an almost 8 year relationship and I have learned
There will be times when you make each other upset or maybe you won’t agree. It is so important to make sure that you are communicating your feelings with one another. Your partner is not a mind reader. (sometimes I forget this!) When you and your partner are feeling upset, communicate it! It’s important to always let each other know when you are upset because if you don’t, the problem may never get resolved. You can only make each other happy if you know how to.
It’s also important to try to remember to communicate when you are happy too. I know that my partner appreciates when I let him know just how happy I am when he does something that puts a smile on my face. Whether it be watching a tv show with me or doing something without me having to ask. It just makes your partner feel noticed and appreciated. It also let’s your partner know what makes you happy and what you like.
THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES
If you have never heard of the five love languages then let me explain a little.
A love language is the way you “receive love.” I once read this book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman and learned a lot!! I recommend this book to everyone. You can receive love 5 different ways; through: acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, or quality time. It’s essential to figure out you and your partners love language so that you can show each other love in the correct ways.
Remember that your love language can be different than your partners. The way you enjoy receiving love is not always the same way your partner enjoys receiving love. Sometimes we forget that and instead of showing our partner love the way they want, we end up showing them love the way we want.
This book really changed the way I viewed my relationship and it also made me a more loving partner.
You can also take the quiz & find out your love language here
NEVER GO TO BED UPSET
I’ve learned that going to bed upset makes everything worse. Not to mention it can cause some serious nightmares! It can be upsetting to lay next to the one you love or like a lot, knowing they are upset with you. Always communicate your problems and make sure you two can go to bed happy with each other.
ALWAYS DISCUSS, TRY NOT TO ARGUE
I know this can be a tricky because when we get upset we tend to raise our voices hoping to get a point across. Yelling can back fire and make a situation worse. I find that talking respectfully and discussing issues in a mild tone gets the point across much better than yelling back and forth. If you do feel as if you need to step away for a minute to collect your thoughts and take a deep breath, you should absolutely do so! Trying to discuss things while you are extremely frustrated or upset can also lead to hurtful words that you don’t mean.
Don’t lie or try and hide anything from one another. It is important to be open and honest with your partner. If your partner finds out from another source (which he/she eventually will) it can lead to disappointment, arguments, and trust issues. Avoid this easily by being honest.
SHOW AFFECTION, KEEP THE ROMANCE ALIVE
Have you ever heard someone say, “Are you two still in the honeymoon phase?” I sure have. Then I find myself wondering, the honeymoon phase has to come to an end? The answer is, no, it really doesn’t. Show love and affection towards each other daily and that honeymoon phase will never end.
I know some days are busier than others but, to make the effort to kiss each other day and night is quite a simple task. Don’t you think? Or even complimenting each other daily. Try to cook dinner and have a romantic night in just the two of you, once a week. Why not? Although I know with children it can be hard at times. Don’t give up though. Always kiss each other goodnight.
QUALITY TIME IS IMPORTANT
It’s important to remember to make time for one another. Life can get busy and we can get caught up in our daily routines. Set aside time where you can spend it without any company or electronic device. Do something fun or relaxing. Whatever you love to do together.
GO OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE
You will appreciate keeping the relationship exciting. Go out of your comfort zones and try something new together. Whether it be a new restaurant or activity such as sky diving! (okay it doesn’t have to be that extreme, but you get my point!) Have some fun! It can also rekindle that flame!
LISTEN TO AND SUPPORT YOUR PARTNER
Be your partners biggest supporter. Always listen to your partner when he/she is talking to you. Be engaged in the conversation. If your partner is having a tough day, be there. Always try and lift one another up. You will see each other’s darkest and brightest days. It’s always nice to know you have a shoulder to lean on whenever you need it.
DON’T COMPARE YOUR RELATIONSHIP EVER
It’s so easy to compare your relationship to someone else’s. Why is it that, as humans, we always look for more? We are never happy with what we have? Or maybe we are, we just fail to appreciate it. When you start to compare your relationship to someone else’s, you start to be unappreciative of what you have. No relationship is the same and no relationship is perfect.
It may look like “Jim and Sally” have a “perfect” relationship on the outside but you don’t know what it’s really like. The only way to know, is if you were them. Focus on your relationship and the reasons why you are in it.
Relationships are a lot of work, but when you are with the right person, it’s all worth it.
I am not here to tell anyone that their relationship is right or wrong. This is just what helps me keep my relationship healthy and growing, almost 8 years and counting!